Charlie Sheen Sheen Cured His Addiction With His Mind

Charlie Sheen called into The Alex Jones Show, probably high, and went on a rant calling Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre a turd and Thomas Jefferson a pussy. He says he’s 100% clean, that AA is a cult and the only thing he’s addicted to is winning. A rundown from TMZ and Radar:

• He calls Lorre a turd, a clown, and says his real name is “Haim Levine”
• Referring to his rehab stint, Sheen claims to have embarrassed Lorre “in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his un-evolved mind cannot process.”
• “I was shackled and oppressed by the cult of AA for 22 years,” Sheen said. “I finally extracted myself from their troll hole and started living my life the way I want to live it. “It’s vintage, outdated and stupid and it’s followed by STUPID people.” He then added: “I hate them violently. They will come at me.” At one point he said: “Debate me on AA right now. I have a disease? Bulls**t. I cured it right now with my mind.”
• After one rant the host, Alex Jones, tells Charlie he sounds like Thomas Jefferson. Charlie’s response, “I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a p***y! But I dare anyone to debate me on things.”
• On his drug and alcohol issues, “I have a disease? Bulls**t! I cured it … with my mind.”

This sounds like the start of a new meme. STD? Cured it…. with my mind! Degenerative disease? Cured it… with my mind! Inoperable brain cancer? Cured it… with my mind.

Don’t think those are all the highlights either. Sheen goes on to talk about trolls, tattoos, F-18 fighter pilots and Vatican assassins. That is to say, a pretty standard conversation with a completely sober person who’s cured his addiction with his mind.