Charlie Sheen Was on ‘Good Morning America’ Too

I can’t tell which interview is better. Charlie Sheen on The Toady Show or on Good Morning America. Maybe GMA because his rant seems a lot more awesome and it pretty much includes everything he told Today.

“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body,”

“I woke up and decided, you know, I’ve been kicked around. I’ve been criticized. I’ve been like the, ‘Ah, shucks’ guy with like this bitchin’ rockstar life. And I’m just finally going to completely embrace it, wrap both arms around it, and love it violently. And defend it violently through violent hatred.”

“I was banging seven-gram rocks and finishing them, because that’s how I roll,” he said. “I have one speed. I have one gear. Go.”

“I got tiger blood, man,” he said. “My brain….fires in a way that is — I don’t know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm.”

“There’s certain blends I will not entertain because this [is] how people go down. I’m too smart to do that,” he said. “I’m sorry for the guys that that happened to, but, you know, you should have read the directions before you showed up at the party.”

Charlie Sheen must feel invincible and who can blame him? He’s taken all these drugs and hasn’t died. He’s got away with most everything. He even cured his addiction with his mind. At this point there’s nothing else to do but wait until he either has a heart attack or reveals himself to be Jesus.