Diddy Bought His Son Another Maybach

Last year for his son Justin’s sweet sixteen, P. Diddy bought him a $350,000 Mercedes Maybach complete with his own personal driver.

This year for his 17th birthday, Diddy bought him a $405,000 Maybach Limousine after Justin made the honor roll. If my parents ever gave me $400k gifts instead of empty promises in exchange for good grades, I’d never have gotten anything below an A. Well, at the very least I’d have paid someone else to do my homework.

“Justin has turned himself around and is now an Honours student, which he wasn’t before, so I wanted to treat him. It’s a collector’s car so maybe he will use it for special occasions like on a first date, but like all my kids, he prefers the simpler things than the expensive things. Simple tastes.”

One thing though. Don’t criticize Diddy for bribing his son with these expensive gifts because that makes you a racist.

“The whole thing about giving a Maybach to my son, that’s really like a racist question. You don’t ask white people what they buy their kids,” Diddy continued. “And they buy ’em Porsches and convertible Bentleys, and it ain’t no question. It’s really a racist question and put things back in perspective with money and the way that people still look at you. And I’m not saying that consciously he’s a racist. But he probably don’t even realize that he would not ask Steve Jobs that. He would be like Steve Jobs has that money, and that’s the gift his kid is supposed to get.”

Um, no. I have no idea what Steve Jobs bought his kid but it was probably an iPhone. I’m sure if he threw his money around and planned ostentatious sweet sixteen parties where he gave his kid a $350,000 car and a $10,000 check and a year later gave them a $400,000 car, you’d hear about it. Also, no one cares about non-famous people. That’s just how it is. This is less about race and more about celebrities spoiling their kids.

Not that I have anything against throwing your money around. I’m all for it actually. I’d walk around wearing the skin of a panda and five diamond encrusted Rolex watches on each arm if I could afford it. I’d even slap the bagel out of a homeless guy’s hand, point at him with my purely ornamental gold cane and laugh heartily in a fabulous display of opulence.