Jennifer Aniston, the Perez Hilton Whisperer

First off. Arrrgggghh! Why?!

Whew. Now that that’s out of the way. Jennifer Aniston went on Ellen DeGeneres’ show on Wedesnday to promote her movie Just Go With It and the interview devolved into a story about the time she confronted Perez Hilton, celebrity blogger employer.

“I ran into Perez Hilton in a garage,” she said. “One of those moments you just never expect to happen. I had finished dinner with a girlfriend and we were driving out and I saw this tall, long, lean person and I say, ‘Who is that?’ And she says, ‘I think that’s Perez Hilton.’ I said, ‘No. I have to say something to him. I have to.’ So I pulled up and we were sort of scoping each other out as I was pulling the car up. I just rolled down the window and I was like, ‘Hi.’ And he went, ‘Hi.’ We stood there like two deer in headlights. And I just said, ‘Come here. Just talk to me for a second.’ It was one of those great moments. It was a lovely meeting and I was just like, ‘Why are you so mean?’ There’s something really great about putting a human being in front of another human being and then the reality that those words, even if it’s for humor or effect or whatever, there’s a human being behind all of that…And he’s kept it up too which is good.” (Advocate)

Give me a break. There’s a reason Perez Hilton’s site turned into an amateur Just Jared. Drawing semen dribbling down people’s faces and outing celebrities doesn’t bring in as much money or contacts as a celebrity circle jerk does. Piggybacking off the gay bullying stories to promote his site’s nicer style was great for publicity.

Anyway, the LA Times blog asked Perez if there was any truth to this meeting and he gushed, “Ahhhh! Jennifer Aniston talked to me!,” like the hand of god just gave him a reach-around.

“I had not talked about meeting Jennifer Aniston out of respect for her and respect for the situation. It was actually a very powerful moment, I think for both of us,” he told the Ministry. “I told her the answer I would always tell myself — at the time, I viewed her as a character. I think it was very cathartic for her and for me.”

Let’s not make this into something it’s not. Jennifer Aniston asked him why he was being such a dickhead and this keyboard warrior got stars in his eyes. There was nothing cathartic about it.

Granted, I wouldn’t be any different. If a celebrity ran up to me and asked me straight up why I’m such a douche to them on the internet, I’d pee myself a little and wave my hands at them shouting, “No ingles!” Then I’d run home to my friends and tell them how so and so talked to me while I fluttered my hands in the air like I was trying to keep from fainting.

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