Lindsay Lohan Will be Charged With Felony Grand Theft

Lindsay Lohan will be charged with felony grand theft for stealing a $2,5000 necklace on Wednesday morning. The single count will be filed at Airport Court. She will be arraigned at 1:30 PM and must be present for the hearing. If convicted, she could be sent to state prison.

Lindsay, however, has “witnesses” to back up her story about borrowing the necklace. Are these witnesses unbiased third parties? Haha, no. They’re her assistant Eleanor and her friend Patrick. “Her assistant Eleanor and her friend Patrick were with her and they saw everything and they both know that Lindsay didn’t steal the necklace.”

They claim the store let Lindsay borrow the necklace for publicity but got angry when they didn’t get any. Hence, they created their own by accusing her of stealing the necklace. Still, that doesn’t explain why they filed charges the same day she took the necklace. You’d think they’d give her at least a day to get them publicity.

Although, I like how Lindsay is dumb enough to think her paid assistant and friend, two people who directly benefit from her not going to prison, are reliable witnesses. This is like having your pet dog as a character witness. Of course its going to nod its head and lick your face and treat you like a god since you’re the one feeding it every day.