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Charlie Sheen Now Armed With a Machete

Charlie Sheen was fired from Two and a Half Men yesterday but plans to sue Warner Bros. for eight episodes citing breach of contract. Meanwhile in his new found free time, he climbed on top of the Live Nation building in Beverly Hills with his lackeys and started waving a machete around. Presumably this will be what he uses to cut the throats of children with. Then he drank a bottle of Tiger Blood. In a text sent to PEOPLE, Charlie says,

“Put yourself in my shoes for one warlock nanosecond. At some point there is nothing to say. Only war to wage … The winds are howling tonight. The gods are hungry. The beast is alive. And awake. And deadly.”

You may think Charlie Sheen is crazy but this is the only way to defeat the suits in Hollywood. With a blessed machete and tiger blood, Charlie’s own brand of Gummy Juice.

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Seerina
9 years ago

He is manic depressive (bi poler) at lest..when gets out of this manic phase..this man is going to crash..big time. I never could stand him, or the show..but it is sad for those that do love him.

The Blemish
9 years ago
Reply to  Seerina

He refuses to acknowledge anything negative so I’ll be here with popcorn.

zed
zed
9 years ago

When he crashes I hope it’s like a front row seat at a Gallagher show! Splat!

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