Fatty McFat Fat Gave Up Fast Food

Pudgy little piggy Vanessa Hudgens tells Shape Magazine that she gave up her fast food addiction because she couldn’t fit into her High School Musical costumes anymore and with hard work and dedication she now has a six pack. *Looks at own six pack* *Yawns*

‘I was so unhealthy,’ Hudgens says about her fast food addiction back in 2007. I used to go to Cold Stone Creamery, get a tub of Butterfinger ice cream and eat it all before bedtime. And my fingers were permanently stained orange from Cheetos.’

At first it was fine because her dancing was burning more calories than she was putting in. However, when the High School Musical tour took a break, she started gaining.

‘When I came back, I almost couldn’t get my costume on,’ she admits. ‘When I finally got it zipped up, my boobs were up to my chin!

Yes… Go on…

‘The director, Kenny Ortega, saw me and said: ‘Whoa, mamacita, look at you!’ And I was like: “I don’t know where this came from!”

‘But I knew. I lived on Hot Pockets and never touched vegetables; I needed to do something about my diet.’

Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. Vanessa went on a diet because her boobs were too big? This seems counter intuitive. I mean, is there any more on this boob thing? No? Fine. What does she eat now then?

‘I like egg white omelettes with veggies or oatmeal with almonds and fruit.’ Lunch and dinner are usually a spinach salad with grilled chicken or salmon, Marcona almonds, feta, a little truffle oil and a dash of Himalayan sea salt.

‘It’s my favourite meal,’ she says. ‘When you’re putting good stuff into your body, you feel so much better.’

Whatever. That’s just what the salad lobbyists want you to think. But back to Vanessa. She now dead lifts 180lbs.

‘In the beginning I could dead lift 135lbs. By the end, I lifted 180lbs. I was a monster. Having someone to go to classes with makes you want to do your best, not just for yourself but for the other person too,’ she says.

‘My mum and I do cardio kickboxing classes together. ‘I love wearing my baseball hat, tilting my head down and pretending I’m taking people out. It’s very therapeutic.’

What a touching story. This should serve as an inspiration to fat people everywhere. No more excuses. If a millionaire teen celebrity with access to all of the tools in the world can do it, you can too. If not, you’re probably just lazy and unmotivated.