Arnold Schwarzenegger Fathered a Secret Child With the Help

The LA Times dropped a bombshell yesterday when they shed light on why Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver split after 25 years of marriage.

According to the report, Maria Shriver ended their relationship when Arnold admitted he fathered a bastard child with a longtime member of their household staff 10 years ago. The staff member worked for them for 20 years retiring only in January. While Maria Shriver had no comment, Arnold said,

“After leaving the governor’s office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago,” Schwarzenegger said Monday night in a statement issued to The Times in response to questions. “I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry.

“I ask that the media respect my wife and children through this extremely difficult time,” the statement concluded. “While I deserve your attention and criticism, my family does not. “

LAT is not publishing the identity of the staffer but in an interview before Arnold issued his statement, she still maintained the baby wasn’t his and that it was her then-husband’s kid. I’d have said the same thing. She probably had her then-husband raise the kid and he didn’t know any better. Though I’d get a little suspicious with the kid’s spot on Arnold impersonations. She also says the affair wasn’t the reason she left.

She said she voluntarily left her position with the couple earlier this year after reaching a longstanding goal of working for them for two decades. “I wanted to achieve my 20 years, then I asked to retire,” she said, adding she received a severance payment and “left on good terms with them.”

Yea, sure. Whatever you say. The only time a person has a goal to work for Arnold Schwarzenegger for 20 years is if it was written in a contract titled “Terms and Conditions for being Mr. Schwarzenegger’s Sex Slave.”