Oprah Had Her Last Show Today

The final episode of Oprah aired today and, unlike what Oprah said, it was way more bitter than sweet. At least if you were one of the audience members clamoring for tickets to the two part show. That’s because Oprah wasn’t giving out cars or vacations, just “quiet reflection.” Aw, crap. It’s like graduation all over again. From the Chicago Sun-Times:

Your real job in life is to figure out what your calling is, and then do it.

“You can help somebody, you can listen, you can forgive, you can heal, you have the power to change someone’s life. Start embracing the life that is calling you, and use your life to serve the world.”

Take responsibility for your life. “You are responsible for the energy you create for yourself and the energy you bring to others.”

You don’t have to depend on anyone else. “’Jerry Maguire’ was just a movie. No one completes you.”

There is a common thread that runs through all our pain and suffering: the feeling of unworthiness. “We block our own blessings because we don’t feel worthy enough. You’re worthy because you are born and because you’re here. Your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough.”

Everyone wants validation. “They want to know, Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?”

Pay it forward. “Be that safe harbor for somebody else. Connect, embrace, liberate, love somebody, just one person, then spread that to two, then as many as you can. You’ll see the difference it makes.”

You can imagine how disappointed some of the people there were. They were probably expecting something big for her final show and even practiced their surprised face in the mirror the night before. Went something like this: o_0 I bet a few were still checking under the seats while the janitor turned off the lights at the United Center like a junkie searching for leftover crack rock.

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9 years ago

Thank God the madness is over!  BTW…where’s my car, bitch?

9 years ago

*makes wanking motion*

Oprah’s just spewing generic, self-help nonsense.

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