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Lindsay Lohan Got Sloppy Drunk

Amy Winehouse died on Friday most likely as a result of her addiction. You’d think that would have been a wake up call for the drunkest b*tch in America but it was quite the opposite. Perennial screw up Lindsay Lohan took that as a sign to live life to the fullest. So she get sloppy drunk on Friday night.

According to Radar, Lindsay first hit up the Chateau Marmont where she stayed sober until she left and headed over to Palihouse hotel where she became progressively drunker as the night went on. She started out ordering cranberry juice but cranberry juice sucks especially when drunk people are having fun around you.

“Everyone at the table was drinking lemon drop shots and there were two bottle of Kettle One vodka on the table. She ordered two martinis from the waitress, but she said they were for a friend. So the waitress brought them out and handed them to her. One of the other girls shot the waitress a look and shook her head as if to say ‘Don’t give that to her.’

“But Lindsay took them any way and took a big gulp out of one of them. About 10 minutes later she did a shot of vodka.”

Of course, paranoia set in and Lindsay got upset with her date, Oscar Lusth from Survivor, who she accused of flirting with other women. “She yelled at him to ‘Stop flirting with everyone’!” the source says. Then she went back to drinking. “You’ll never leave me,” cooed Lindsay to the bottle of Ketel One she was caressing.

“A guy sitting on the other side of her poured himself a vodka on the rocks and I saw her take two sips out of it. But she was really careful to only order juice from the staff,” the source observed.

By the end of the night, she was sloppy drunk and screaming into her phone.

“By 2 am, she could barely stand. She was trying to stabilize herself on the chairs. Then she made it over to the curtains and hung on them. The manager saw this and went over and helped her stand up,” the eyewitness says.

“She was really nice to the manager. She kept saying, ‘Thank you. All my friend left me.’ Then she picked up her phone and started screaming ‘Every body left me! Why did everyone leave me? Where are you?’

My guess is she didn’t even dial a number. She just started screaming into a phone. Instead of kicking her out of the place like he would do to a non-celebrity, the manager helped her into an Escalade.

“The manager went back over to her and told her not to worry. ‘I’ll help you. Don’t worry’,” I heard the manager say.

“She eventually got outside, and when she got to her Escalade she just collapsed into it.”

That Escalade could have been anybody’s Escalade if you think about it. Suffice to say, if you ever want to sleep with Lindsay Lohan, wait outside of a club at 2 a.m. in the morning, dress in a black suit and yell at her, “Lindsay! Quick! Into this Escalade!” The rest is self-explanatory.

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Bates

You are delusional fiction teller. Bet your nose grows with every work you type. You should pick up garbage in the street for a living instead of spreading it all around.

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Bates

You are delusional fiction teller. Bet your nose grows with every work you type. You should pick up garbage in the street for a living instead of spreading it all around.

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