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Newsflash: Miranda Kerr Says Giving Birth Is Painful

This may come as a surprise to a lot of you as it did me but pushing a 10 lb human child out of your vagina without painkillers is really difficult. Some people like Aussie supermodel Miranda Kerr describe it as downright painful. Who would have guessed?

Flynn’s arrival into the world wasn’t easy. Kerr’s labour lasted 27 hours and she didn’t so much as sniff a painkiller, which is no mean feat with a baby weighing an eye-watering 4.5kg at birth. Yet the model insists she found the experience empowering.

“I’ve never been through so much pain, but I was totally present the entire time, focusing on my breath and meditating,” she says. “I kept thinking, how do women do this? But if other women have done this, I can do it, too. I was determined.

“I actually thought I was going to die at one point and left my body. I felt as if I was looking down on myself – the pain was so intense. Then he came out and we met, and it was the best thing. I think once you go through something like that, nothing else fazes you – it puts everything into perspective.” Kerr later revealed to US talk show host Conan O’Brien that she wouldn’t let Bloom leave the room while she was in labour, even making him pee in a bottle.

“Orlando was by my side the whole time,” she smiles. “I couldn’t have done it without him. Just to have his support was a really wonderful experience.” [Daily Telegraph]

Giving birth sounds horrible. If I was a woman, I’d tell doctors to pump me with as many painkillers as possible. Listening to Miranda Kerr, I’d rather be legally declared dead for however long it takes for that kid to come out then feel 1/10th of what she felt.

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miranda, you’re not fooling me, i’ve only got two pound’r, that kid is like a 10lb dick! and slipping out in all that delicious cunt goo. birth has got to be the best ever! pump, pump, pump, pump, that’s it make it last.

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