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Weston Cage Shaved His Head, Did Karate

Nic Cage’s son, Weston, who was recently beat up by Nic Cage’s henchman and then beat up and cut up by his wife, shaved his head and started doing karate outside of Boa in Hollywood. Why? Probably to reclaim his manhood.

You can tell he totally planned this all out beforehand because he was wearing black baggy karate pants. Or maybe that was his normal attire. I guess you never know when you’re going to have to land a high kick on someone. ABPTHK, my karate instructor always used to say before telling me to take off my gi and smile for the camera. That stands for “Always Be Prepared To High Kick” by the way.

Seriously though, Weston must have looked like a complete retard doing splits and throwing high kicks on the street but the pictures make him look pretty badass. Especially the one where he’s floating in air and STILL holding his cigarette. If that’s not talent, I don’t know what is.

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Guesty
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Guesty

He’s a mighty black death metal warrior, unless it’s his baby sitter or a pregnant woman, then not so tough. What a weirdo he turned out to be with more advantages than 99% of the people in the world. Tragically weird.

not fair
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not fair

Yeah, having a rich father from a rich family allows you to be a pussy, act like an idiot douche with no talent whatsoever and still get your picture on a “celebrity” website.  Kinda like the rich, old guy with a hot chick.  Just a different kind of whore.

Chappy715
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Chappy715

Wow I have never laughed so hard in my entire life check out all the pictures! Is this clown for real? Especially after the video of him getting seriously beat down like a bitch. This kid is completely bonkers I think they need to do another 5150 hold on this loon.

Chappy715
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Chappy715

Wow I have never laughed so hard in my entire life check out all the pictures! Is this clown for real? Especially after the video of him getting seriously beat down like a bitch. This kid is completely bonkers I think they need to do another 5150 hold on this loon.

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