Jessica Simpson Is Pregnant or Fat

At this point, you can take your pick but InTouch Weekly says it’s the former.

“She’s already having kooky cravings!” a friend shares, especially nacho chips dipped in chocolate — “which satisfy her urge for salty and sweet” — cheese-flavored popcorn and non-alcoholic margaritas.

Now, despite the fact that there will be one more “guest” (and that “Jessica might have to take out her dress a bit”), their plans to marry in November haven’t changed.

While it’s true that not everyone would consider the timing ideal, the friend says the couple considers the baby to be “the best wedding gift ever.” Luckily, she’s not due ’til spring, leaving them just enough time to be newlyweds before new parents. InTouch Weekly

No one ever believes InTouch anyway but sure, why not? Though, Celebuzz does say PEOPLE has a “special pregnancy announcement” coming in the next few weeks. That could either mean Jessica Simpson or some random D-lister like Tara Reid.

Regardless, is Jessica Simpson having kooky cravings indicative of a pregnancy or is it just Jessica being a glutton. Maybe InTouch is trying to publicly shame Jessica into going on a diet. If that’s the case, InTouch should know Jessica Simpson isn’t good at subtlety. It would have been more effective if they wrote “Hey, Jessica Simpson. Lose some weight, fatty!,” on their cover.