Lindsay Lohan Showed Up for Work

What does it say about someone when we feel the need to report that they showed up for a court mandated job on time? That they’re infamous for screwing up, that’s what.

In unrelated news, Lindsay Lohan actually showed up early for morgue duty. In fact, Lindsay showed up at 5:35 a.m. this morning for her 7 a.m. shift. 90 minutes early. No doubt as an act of contrition for arriving 20 minutes late on Thursday. But will this be enough? Can this convince people that she’s taking her parole seriously? How would I know? Do I look like Judge Sautner or something?