ESC

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore Officially Divorcing

Apparently no amount of Kabbalah therapy could save their marriage as Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore announced today that they’re getting a divorce. Ashton naturally took to Twitter to post, “I will forever cherish the time I spent with Demi. Marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world and unfortunately sometimes they fail. Love and Light, AK.” I like how Ashton implies outside forces were responsible for the failure of his marriage and not the fact he banged a bunch of whores while Demi wasn’t looking.

Meanwhile, Demi eschewed a social media statement and went old school with a plain old regular statement through the wire. She said, “It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life. This is a trying time for me and my family, and so I would ask for the same compassion and privacy that you would give to anyone going through a similar situation.” That was basically Demi putting all the blame on Ashton for the dissolution of their marriage.

In other news, Kim Kardashian jumped for joy because this is going to take some of the heat off her own fake marriage/divorce. Now she and her people don’t have to go through with their plan of leaking pictures of a fat(ter) Khloe Kardashian and implying she’s pregnant.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
7 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
reality
reality
8 years ago

The biggest reason is that her daughters are too ugly to bang.

chewy
chewy
8 years ago
Reply to  reality

Demi isn’t that great either. She’s as skinny as a beanpole.

chewy
chewy
8 years ago

I can imagine Ashton Kutcher paraphrasing Martin Luther King Jr..”Free at last..free at last..thank God Almighty I am free at last!”

And so you are Ashton. Now go out and make up for lost time.

boy Crusher
boy Crusher
8 years ago

Demi is still hot, Ashton cheated on her, that was predictable, Demi was retarded to marry such a young whore boy, but Ashton shouldn’t have married her if he couldn’t exercise will power, or at least honesty in cheating and lying.  Demi, you look hot, skinny beats fat any day, find a new boy toy.  Stay looking hotter than ever so Ashton feels it. Muahaha

boy Crusher
boy Crusher
8 years ago

Oh & as for Ash hole’s lame tweet, marriage shouldn’t be the hardest thing in the world, but if you decide to marry a woman with 3 kids and an ex husband, umm you are in for some family commitment crap. Duh. 

CougarCoochieIsalwaysTemporary
CougarCoochieIsalwaysTemporary
8 years ago

So sad …hopefully he contracts a monster case of herpes and disappears

Girlgodiva
Girlgodiva
8 years ago

So what is good for the goose is not good for the gander in the story.  It is time he got rid of that old hag anyway

Latest
Load more