JWoww Has a New Bikini Line

Fresh off the height of her achievement by appearing on the cover of Maxim, here’s JWoww modeling her new bikini line JWoww by Perfect Tan Bikini. It’s a line of swimwear that gets rid of tan lines by not falling off when you remove the straps using black magic. Or glue. Whatever you want to call it.

JWOWW by Perfect Tan Bikini is made of a unique fabric and silicone base that allows you to remove the straps for optimum tanning and not worry about your top moving all over the place. The silicone adhesive is activated by the heat, so the hotter you get while tanning in the sun, the more your top will stay in place. You can even wash the suit up to 20 times and the silicone adhesive will stay strong; just reactivate the adhesive with a blow dryer and you are ready to hit the beach again.

I wanted my line to be stylish and functional, so getting the perfect tan could be hassle-free. Now you can be sexy and tan-line-free at the same time. JWoww

Great. My plan of yelling “OH MY GOD! Heads up!” at a girl tanning herself to startle her and make her turn around so that I may see her breasts has been foiled.

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brain dead like her
brain dead like her
12 years ago

Even with her super-fake tits, she’s actually pretty hot.  But once she opens her mouth, she makes Snookie sound like a fucking genius.  She must have the intelligence of a 6 year old.