ESC

Charlize Theron Adopted a Baby Boy

A rep for Charlize Theron confirms to PEOPLE that “She is the proud mom of a healthy baby boy named Jackson.” Which she adopted and not secretly gave birth to. Whew. *Wipes sweat off brow* I was worried I’d have to move and change my name again.

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Why won’t she adopt me?  I’ll be happy to come out her vagina, after going, them come out, go in, come out, etc…being a family is not so tough.  Geez.

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