Jason Biggs has the best vacation story ever. It started out innocently enough with him and his wife Jenny Mollen traveling through Spain when they decided to take a detour to pay a visit to the nature preserve at the Rock of Gibraltar.
Biggs said they were told to not mess with the monkeys but being that his wife Jenny is so awesome, she decided to do the exact opposite and fiddled with a tampon in her purse making it seem like a bag of chips. That’s when a bunch of apes rushed them down to get to the tampon. One of the female apes was probably on the rag. Typical.
“They have have these crazy apes there… they are called Barbary apes and you take a gondola, like a tram, up to the top of the Rock and you get off and there are signs everywhere that say, ‘Don’t feed the monkeys, don’t touch the monkeys, don’t look at the monkeys, do not make eye contact.’
“My wife, of course, seems to think that the rules do not apply to her… (and) much to her dismay, did not have any snacks, but, what she did have was a tampon. She was like, ‘Well maybe if I keep the tampon in the purse but kind of play with it a little bit so it sounds like a bag of chips…’ So she does this, and next thing you know, I swear these apes are coming out from every direction thinking she’s got a thing of kettle chips.
“They jump on her, they jump on me, they ripped the tampon out of her purse. The one monkey opened the tampon, put the tampon in his mouth like he was smoking a cigar, (and) ran away with it.” StarPulse
Oh, you saw the Taj Mahal on your vacation? Well, we were mugged by a bunch of apes who stole my wife’s tampon. Winner: us. The only way this story could get any better is if the ape did a Groucho Marx impression while he ran away with the tampon in his mouth.