Channing Tatum’s life story will be played out in Steven Soderbergh’s Magic Mike. In it, Tatum plays a stripper who strives to be something more. Like a doctor? A researcher? A handsome blogger such as myself? Nope. He wants to make custom furniture. Why can’t people see past his chiseled body and floppy penis to his industrial glass coffee table?! If you prick Magic Mike, does he not bleed onto the niche products he fabricates in his garage?