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Snooki Will Birth a Boy

Snooki’s promise to create Hell on Earth is coming one step closer to fruition. She’s just made the announcement on In Touch that the first wave of orange guidos to slither out of her will be a boy.

“Everyone said I was going to have a boy, and they were right!” the Jersey Shore star reveals exclusively to In Touch.

Snooki tells In Touch that she and Jionni are deciding between two names – Lorenzo or Jionni Jr. And while she’s thrilled to welcome a son, the 24-year-old admits she was hoping for a mini-me. “I thought it was going to be a girl. I was hoping it would be, because all girls want girls,” Snooki says, at first disappointed, but adding, “It’s still my baby, no matter what. I’m excited either way!” In Touch

It’s still weird to me that a Chilean like Snooki is deciding on names like Lorenzo and Jionni Jr. This baby will be so ingrained in Guido culture from birth that the second thing to come out of Snooki’s vag after him will be a puff of spray tan to make sure that kid looks proper.

At least there’s a silver lining in all this. You won’t be hearing details about Snooki and Jionni’s pregnancy sex. Because there isn’t any.

But even more surprising? While some women find their sex drive enhanced during pregnancy, you won’t find Snooki and Jionni anywhere near the smush room! “Our sex life is hardly there! I just feel too icky and gross,” Snooki confides. “I’m so not in the mood to do stuff.”

Oh thank god. My stomach wouldn’t have been able to handle that story this early in the morning.

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