Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are Divorcing

After five years of marriage and a Suri Cruise, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting a divorce. Looks like her five year beard contract ran out.

“This is a personal and private matter for Katie and her family,” says Holmes’s attorney Jonathan Wolfe. “Katie’s primary concern remains, as it always has been, her daughter’s best interest.”

No word on what led to the breakup except for rumors of distance or maybe Katie got tired of watching Tom smear bird poop on his face. Hopefully everything will work out for Katie. And by that I mean she shows her boobs again like she did in The Gift.