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Marilyn Manson Won’t Date Avril Lavigne Because She’s Canadian

Recently, there was a rumor that Marilyn Manson was hooking up with Avril Lavigne. Everyone thought it was suspect considering Manson was a big step down, looks-wise, from Brody Jenner. Hey, but this is the same girl who married Deryck Whibley from Sum 41. That dude lived under a bridge for most of his life.

Well you can all calm down now. Manson denied the rumors yesterday saying he wouldn’t date her because she has a big flaw. She’s Canadian.

“Yesterday I read that I was dating Avril Lavigne and I was like ‘F**k I wouldn’t do that, she’s Canadian. No offence to Canada. I know her, I accidentally shaved her head…but, you never know where these stories come from.”

The ‘Tainted Love’ star then added: “Sometimes they have some sort of valid truth to them. Did I f**k Avril Lavigne? Who knows…I can’t remember, no. Sorry Avril!”

That stupid haircut Avril Lavigne is walking around with was an accident? That makes a lot more sense. I was starting to think she was trying to copy Cassie’s hair but had to do it on layaway.

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Herman Bumfudle
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Herman Bumfudle

and canadian bacon literally means the cannibalism of native people.

Pretty Angry
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Pretty Angry

Oh my god. She’s rockin the Cassie do..3 years later

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