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Scientology Is Watching Katie Holmes and the Number 33

Sources close to Katie Holmes say she believes members of Scientology have been following her ever since they found out about her strained relationship with Tom Cruise. Photographers tell TMZ that they’ve seen “mysterious” men and cars around her apartment following her when she’s out. Specifically, a white Cadillac Escalade and black Mercedes SUV. It’s probably just David Miscavige jerking off to Katie Holmes.

FYI — there is a publication that has put a tail on Katie, but the people doing that are separate from the people Katie believes have been dispatched from Scientology.

It is unclear if the two vehicles that have been constantly spotted near Holmes’ pad are from Scientology or from the publication.

Scientology is a weird cult so they’ve probably deemed her a threat and are probably readjusting their e-meters to subdue her so they can throw her in their volcano. Is that how Scientology works?

FameFlynet took a few pictures of the SUVs following Katie below. They say the “Men in White” won’t talk to anyone and their demeanor is intimidating. Which is a little presumptuous. Maybe they’re just socially awkward.

In other news, right when the divorce was announced last week, people began noticing a weird reoccurrence of the numbers 33 and 34 in each of Tom Cruise’s failed marriages.

Mimi Rogers was 31 when she married Tom and 33 when she divorced. She was 34 when their divorce was finalized.

Nicole Kidman was 23 when she married Tom and was 33 when they split. She was 34 when the divorce was finalized.

Katie Holmes was 28 when she married Tom. She’s 33 and if their divorce lags until after December, she’ll be 34 when the divorce is finalized.

No one has found a link between those numbers and Scientology but if there’s one thing people can be sure of, it’s that Scientology is full of weirdos.

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It’s reminiscent of how Michael Jackson had no use for boys after they hit puberty.

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