Yolanda Pecoraro Is the Next Ms. Tom Cruise

There’s no winning Katie Holmes back so it’s time for Scientology to start auditioning new girlfriends for Tom Cruise. Number one on their list seems to be Yolanda Pecoraro. They think she’d be a perfect fit because they’ve dated before and she’s a devout Scientologist.

A former member of the church told the Enquirer that Yolanda is a “Scientology princess, perfect for Tom,” both her parents were members and that she’s been taking Scientology courses since she was just 13 years old.

Yolanda lives in a modest Silver Lake, Calif. apartment and told the Enquirer, “Yes, I knew and still know Tom Cruise. And no, I’m not married or engaged.”

One of the advantages of dating and marrying someone indoctrinated into Scientology at such a young age is that there’ll be way less chance of that pesky “free thinking” thing Katie Holmes started doing. Don’t you hate it when the girl you and your religion are trying to have total control over starts doing that?

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12 years ago

Smoking hot but stupid as hell.

12 years ago

She’d better be ready for L.Ron Hubbard’s frozen cock shoved up her snatch with her own cloned egg at the end of it…just like Katie got preggers with Suri (or whatever the kid’s name is now)

11 years ago
Reply to  spacefucker

Are you trying to reference
In Vitro Fertilization? that is not how it works but feel free to jerk off to the idea… creep