Katy Perry Is With John Mayer Now

Katy Perry and John Mayer were caught leaving the Chateau Marmont last night thus signifying their acceptance of us believing they’re in a relationship. “You don’t go to the Chateau Marmont and not expect to be photographed,” said everyone who knows anything.

Lending more credence to the fact that this may be a thing. During a 2009 interview in Australia, Katy Perry admitted she wanted to bang John Mayer. “I’d definitely shag the s**t out of him though. I’ll go on record saying that.”

I’m starting to notice a pattern in Katy Perry’s boyfriends. She goes for whatever guy makes the most salacious comments in the media. Since that’s the case, let me go on record to say I would have sex with Katy Perry so hard that there would be a Katy Perry face-shaped hole in the wall and then when she’s not around, I’d have sex with that face-shaped hole. Now I’ll just sit back and wait for Katy to contact me.