Lindsay Lohan Will Not Face Prosecution

The LA County DA has rejected the $100,000 jewelry theft case against Lindsay Lohan due to insufficient evidence. The DA says Lindsay and Sam Magid, the owner of the house, have a “longstanding relationship.” Additionally, Sam didn’t identify Lindsay as a suspect and “potential eyewitnesses have refused to become involved.” None of the suspects were found in possession of the stolen property as well.

Lindsay can thank Sam Magid and the fact that he wants to bang her for the DA rejecting the case. Magid told police that Lindsay couldn’t have stolen anything because “what’s mine is yours.” In a text message between Magid and Lindsay, he says, “I officially told Detective Rodriguez you can’t take anything from me cause what’s mine is yours.” He added that he loves her and “I will fight for you.”

Gosh. The least Lindsay can do for this guy is give him a handy. I mean, she doesn’t have to look him in the eyes while she’s doing it or anything but it’d be a nice gesture. Or maybe a nice couple of gestures depending on how long Sam can last.