Taylor Swift Is Crocs Founder’s Imaginary Girlfriend

Have you guys met philanthropist and multimillionaire Crocs founder George Boedecker? No? Well, allow me to introduce him. He’s Taylor Swift’s boyfriend. At least in his head when he’s wasted and trying to get out of a DUI. Oh and he has nothing but terrible things to say about her. Not only that, he was wearing flip flops when he was arrested. Flip flops!

On Saturday, cops found George passed out behind the wheel of his Porsche. George claimed his girlfriend Taylor Swift had been driving but she ran away when they got into a fight. George asked Colorado officer Patrick Vest if he “knew who Taylor Swift was” after claiming his girlfriend was “a really fucking famous” singer.

Asked where Swift was now, George pointed to a yard and “said she was in Nashville” and that she was “batshit crazy.”

Things eventually got worse for Boedecker. When cops asked for his address, he said, “I have 17 fucking homes.” Later, he got tired of the questions and warned that things were about to get medieval. He also declined a field sobriety test telling them, “I’m not doing your fucking maneuvers.” He then told two cops to “go f**k yourselves in the ass” and told one officer he had made an “enemy for life.”

Someone should ask Taylor Swift about this. Specifically why she ran from Colorado all the way to Nashville. Is she really batshit crazy like this guy said? Does Cory Kennedy know she’s got another boyfriend? Does she even own a pair of Crocs? Don’t try to deny any of this either, Taylor. It’s all here in black and white!

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11 years ago

Surely someone here is batshit crazy.