Jessica Simpson Can’t Exercise Because Her Boobs Are Too Big

It’s been a long and slow climb for Jessica Simpson to get back to her pre-baby weight. I’m not even talking about her pre-baby pre-weight gain weight either. This is due in part to her eating everything in sight because she thought being pregnant gave her a license to treat her body like a parking lot for food.

“I let myself indulge in everything I wanted because it was the first time I was ever pregnant, and I wanted to enjoy it,” she told USA Today. Let’s be real here. She started enjoying herself long before she was pregnant. It seemed to start in 2009 and was really evident in 2010. By 2011, all hope was lost and weeklies were already saying she was pregnant. When she finally did announce her pregnancy, she started cramming exponentially more food into her mouth like a bear going into hibernation.

Now she’s realizing that a 3 year binge-fest hasn’t done her body any favors signing a $4m Weight Watchers deal which she’s not any closer to completing because she’s already making excuses for not being able to really do strenuous cardio. While Jessica says she works out with a personal trainer four to five times a week, they mostly do a lot of walking because “my boobs are way too big to run at this point.”

You know what exercise Jessica probably loves the most and CAN do? Curls. Mainly because the motion is not unlike the one she uses to shovel food into her mouth.

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