For His Next Trick, David Blaine Will Just Stand There

Starting last Friday and continuing for 72 hours at Manhattan’s Pier 54, David Blaine stood between two Telsa coils while 1 million volts of electricity flowed between them. He’s avoiding electrocution by wearing a Faraday suit, a stainless-steel chain-mail suit with metal headgear. Basically, electricity flows through the suit and never through his body.

Physicist John Belcher said, “There is no danger in this that I see. I would do it, and I am 69 years old and risk-averse. I just would have to take a nap.” In essence, Blaine’s latest stunt is to just stand there for 72 hours. Pretty lame if you think about it. Add to that it’s the amperage that makes electricity deadly and the current produced by a Telsa coil is low.

The only thing remotely exciting about this is he’ll be sucking water through a tube and peeing through a catheter and fasting so he won’t have to poop. The most challenging part of the stunt so far? Keeping from scratching an itch on his nose. Exciting stuff, folks!

David Blaine’s stunts are like stupid pet tricks for humans. Except flashier. It’s like if I made a dog balance a cupcake on his nose while I danced around him with sparklers.

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