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Chad Kroeger Paid His Drummer to Stick His Wiener in a Fan

Proving that Nickelback is indeed pretty gay, Chad Kroeger tells Men’s Health that he once paid his drum technician $375 to stick his penis into a fan. “Hey, guy, whip out your penis!” What? “I mean, whip out your penis and stick it in this fan for money?” *Makes manly grunt*

 “We’ve always been very close to our crew, so we’ve had a lot of fun getting them to do silly, stupid things that could possibly cause them to hurt or injure themselves in some way. We were in Germany years ago – this was one of my favorite stories – and we were just bored.”

Oh, Germany. It all makes sense now. But why wasn’t there poop involved?

“There was a heat wave going on in Germany. In a back room in the venue where we were playing, there was an old fan with a metal blade… And we paid the drum tech… about 600 deutschmarks… (to) stick his johnson (penis) in the fan.”

Well what else would you do with a bunch of guys in a heat wave? It was either this or go to a bathhouse.

“He took the money… I can still hear the ‘bleh-bleh-blehhhhhhh’ of the blade slowly sputtering to a stop, and this blood-curdling scream. It was fantastic. Somebody has video footage of this somewhere that needs to be resurrected and shown at the guy’s next birthday party.”

This is surprisingly relevant to their music. Sticking your penis into a moving fan is pretty much how I describe listening to Nickelback.

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Wow, what a dick.

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