All those letters I sent to Hayden Panettiere telling her to breakup with her NY Jets boyfriend Scotty McKnight have finally payed off. The two broke up a couple weeks ago but are “still good friends.” A source says, “They will probably be back together sometime down the road.” Yea, sure, source. Not if I can help it.
I still can’t believe my letter writing campaign worked. Now it’s time to work on Megan Fox. *Dips pen in blood, writes down awkward poem*
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