Kate Winslet Married Ned RockNRoll

According to Kate Winslet’s spokesman, Kate married Ned RocknRoll in New York earlier this month in a private ceremony in the Catskill mountains in a heated barn attended by her two kids and very few friends and family. So few, in fact, that Kate’s parents weren’t even there. They actually didn’t even know about it until much later. A few people say the quick wedding is because Kate is pregnant but probably not. This will be Kate’s third marriage.

Wait, let’s back up for a second here. His last name is RocknRoll? That’s pretty cool but I’m wondering how they let a 10 year old change his name. Anyway, if they have a kid together, they should definitely name them SexDrugs with a middle name of And. It would be freaking sweet for the kid. I mean, for about a second until they come to the realization that their parents hate them.