Lindsay Lohan Available for Weddings and Bat Mitzvahs

With no real money after the IRS froze all her bank accounts, Lindsay Lohan and a talent company that supposedly represents her put the word out that she’s open to do weddings and bat mitzvahs. 123Talent sent an email blast to people telling them to “Book One of Hollywood’s Biggest Movie Stars Lindsay Lohan Now!” It must have been less of a get it while it’s hot “Now!” and more of a oh god, please, pleeeease, I need money “Now!”

At first they must have thought this was some sort of joke but opening the email showed a photoshopped pitch that read, “Not only is Lindsay an Actress but she is also a Fashion Designer, Model and Recording Artist.” If they want someone to actually book her, they should avoid reminding us of everything else she’s terrible at.

Page Six reached out to Lohan’s rep about the email but haven’t received a response. Probably because their followup question will be, “How many events has she booked so far?,” and the agency is going have to avoid eye contact, look down at their feet and sheepishly answer, “Um, none.”