Lindsay Lohan Is Doing Amazing

Lindsay Lohan is having a fantastic month. First she punched a psychic, then she was charged with lying to police in her Porsche accident and now she’s stalking that Max guy from The Wanted. What else is she up to? Let’s do a little run down instead of separating all these into their own posts.

Lindsay Lohan is pawning her clothes for cash. Actually, she’s having her sister Ali do it. Since the IRS has frozen her bank accounts do to unpaid taxes from 2009 – 2011, Lindsay has resorted to sending her sister Ali to Wasteland, a used clothing store in LA, to try and sell her used designer clothes. It didn’t work out so well. A witness overheard Ali saying, “Thirty dollars for these? They cost $700!” Ali tried to negotiate but they don’t teach that in modeling school. She argued that Lindsay was photographed wearing a few of the items on red carpets and that that surely would justify her price. Well, no, because this isn’t eBay. GTFO, I believe was their answer.

Lindsay sabotaged her appearance on Million Dollar Decorators. Bravo’s Million Dollar Decorators offered to spend $200,000 on expensive furniture and other, um, furnishings, for Lindsay’s $8,000/month mansion she’s renting. In exchange, Lindsay agreed to film a segment for the show which included filming the “big reveal.” At first Lindsay was cooperative. Until they finished renovating her place. That’s when she blew them off. She’s been living in the house ever since but sources say the place is so messy that it’s unfilmable. Producers have no choice now but to use post-renovation footage without Lindsay for the reveal. Just as well since cigarette burned couches and stained comforters don’t make for very good tv.

Lindsay can’t pay the rent on her house. Remember that $8,000/month I just mentioned? Lindsay is struggling to pay the rent on it. She rented the house in February when her career was picking up. That was before the IRS seized her bank accounts. Now she’s trying to get out of the lease to move out early but the penalty for breaking the lease is massive. Naturally, Lindsay is trying to make it work by asking friends for money. Sadly, “If you really cared about me, you’d give me $8,000!,” only works so often.

Lindsay is stealing again. Lindsay has been following Max George from The Wanted around and most recently, she stole one of Max’s t-shirts and tweeted him a picture of it with the message, “Missing something?” Yea, he is. His dignity.

Lindsay is still partying hard. In the same article, George tells Us Weekly that Lindsay parties as hard as they do. “It’s fun, she’s a good girl,” George said — and marveled about Lohan’s still-impressive stamina. “She can party nearly as hard as we can.” That’ll go over great when she tweets that she doesn’t drink.