Hugh Hefner Wants Kids

Hugh Hefner is 86-years-old and just married 26-year-old Crystal Harris so now is the perfect time to have another kid. It would be his fifth. Also, the timing would be pretty perfect. By the time the kid is 13 and hitting that moody teenage phase as a result of their raging hormones brought on by puberty, he’ll be dead.

“Crystal’s desperate to have Hugh’s baby. She thinks it would be the most beautiful way imaginable to show him how much she really loves him. Hef is insisting he’s still man enough for the job, telling family and friends at the wedding he’s still up for it. He wants to show the world that age shouldn’t stop you doing anything.”

First things first. How is Hugh going to impregnate anyone when all he can do is ejaculate a puff of musty air?

  • Crusader70

    Or it could be that he was 91.

  • crizz1066

    Doubt it, his whole life was heaven…also as God and all religions are hogwash. He defiantly won’t be going!!!!

  • Mare

    If she signed a pre-nup, then she already knew she’d get nothing on his death. That doesn’t make her a gold digger, but eww.

    • Doodah

      She actually got $5milion dollars and a $7 million home. Part of the marriage deal. It is all in a trust that is solely in her name.

    • jwoolman

      I’m sure she knew all about it when she married him also. She should be pretty well set for life if she is smart about it. This arrangement prevented any endless fights between her and the kids, and he got to decide exactly what would go to charities and to his children without any extra hassle. It must have been worth it to her, although she was initially a reluctant bride.

  • Roger

    I would have a Level A Hazmat Suit

  • eboe thrasher

    The $1000 WAS the clothing allowance. Learn to figure shit out.

  • trixi

    Has nobody thought that she got her “inheritance” before he died. Gifts, cash and otherwise, his name, etc. I am sure she is not hurting financially!

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