Jason London Crapped His Pants in the Back of a Cop Car

Dazed & Confused actor Jason London was thrown out of the Martini Ranch bar in Scottsdale, Arizona on Sunday morning after punching a bouncer in the face when the bouncer asked him for an apology for sneezing on him. For those wondering, Jason did not go quietly into the night. He was thrown out kicking and screaming while getting beat up. He ended up bleeding in the street. Paramedics were called and, later, so were the cops when Jason shoved one of the responders.

One of the cops had to knee Jason’s right thigh to make him sit on the ground. London responded by calling one of the officers a “f*cking hillbilly.” Oh but this isn’t the best part. Jason out Mel Gibson-ed Mel Gibson by crapping his pants in the back of the cop car on purpose and calling the cops “fa**ots.”

On his way to the police station … Jason uttered a homophobic slur to the cops … saying, “Guess what fa**ot? I f***ing love this. I f***ing own you guys so hard. I’m rich and I’m a motherf***ing famous actor! F***ing look me up, bitch.”

Jason continued … “It smells like s**t in your car and your breath smells like diarrhea.” According to the police report, Jason then leaned to the left and crapped in his pants. Jason then said, “I told you I’m happy as s**t.”

Speaking to Jason’s wife Sofia the next day, she said, “I know he’s an asshole when he drinks.” Asshole is putting it mildly. He’s a giant asshole. He’s the goatse of drunks.

Not surprisingly, Jason has a different version of the story. He tweets that TMZ’s report is a “total f*cking lie.” Jason is a fine upstanding citizen who would never do such a thing. The truth, according to him, is he was jumped by three 250 lb bouncers. Probably all well-trained in MMA, right Jason? He goes on to say he would never do the things reported and that the altercation merely started after a guy thought he was hitting on his girl.

  • Guys, the TMZ report is a total fucking lie. I got jumped by three 250 pound bouncers. They knocked me out and beat me for several minutes.
  • I would never say or do the crap they are reporting. Have faith in me. The truth will come out and you will see.
  • Some guy thought I was hitting on his girl and had me jumped. My wife was in the next room, had no idea what even happened. I hate Arizona
  • Wait till you see the real pictures. I have a right orbital fracture and sinus fracture. The truth will win

We can just assume Jason has no idea what happened because he was absolutely wasted and blacked out the entire time. He probably woke up wondering why his face hurt so much and why he had a severe case of diaper rash.

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"SCAT HOUSE" manager
"SCAT HOUSE" manager
8 years ago

He must have REALLY been drunk and confused…normally he’s first in line at the “s**t eater’s club” after the “homeless burrito buffet…”

"SCAT HOUSE" manager
"SCAT HOUSE" manager
8 years ago

PS I heard he tried to eat the evidence…

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