Lindsay Lohan Can’t Go to Court Because She’s Sick

I’m not entirely sure Lindsay Lohan understands the justice system is much different than the public school she never went to. A letter submitted to the court by Lindsay’s new attorney, Mark Heller, says she’s too sick to fly and can’t make it to court on Wednesday. Too bad, so sad. According to a Park Avenue doctor, Lindsay has an upper respiratory infection and can’t fly for her own safety and the safety of the public. Lindsay is contagious. Her diseases are airborne!

If that wasn’t enough, Heller also submitted an article from the New York Post about a flu epidemic hitting New York City.

Oddly enough, TMZ has pictures of Lindsay on a shopping spree in SoHo on Saturday, the same day she was diagnosed by her Park Avenue doctor. She’s even smoking in a few of the pictures which seems to contradict the claim she has an upper respiratory infection and is contagious.

But this can’t be possible. These pictures must be fake. Lindsay would never lie. She’s the most honest person I’ve ever known. If you turned all the lights off, you could literally see a halo above her head. A bastion of truth she is.

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