Ryan Gosling Loves to Knit

Ryan Gosling is adored by women everywhere. Now I know why. It’s because he’s a middle-aged spinster trapped in a 32-year-old’s body. He tells GQ that his perfect day would just be him knitting, possibly taking care of his 20 cats.

“I did this scene in ‘Lars and the Real Girl’ where I was in a room full of old ladies who were knitting, and it was an all-day scene, so they showed me how. It was one of the most relaxing days of my life.”

“If I had to design my perfect day, that would be it,” he said. “And you get something out of it at the end. You get a nice present. For someone who wants an oddly shaped, off-putting scarf.”

Having every demographic fawning over him is all part of his diabolical plan to make love to everyone in the entire world. With just his eyes.

In related news, Ryan was almost a Backstreet Boy. AJ McLean, who lived next door to Ryan as a teen, told TMZ Ryan turned down the chance to join back in the 90’s. During the promotional tour for Gangster Squad, Ryan said he told McLean at the time, “‘it’s never going to happen. Didn’t they already do that with New Kids [on the Block]? You’re a little late.” Ryan changed his mind when he saw how they took off but McLean never returned his calls.

Speaking directly to Gosling in his interview with TMZ, McLean said, “Ryan, I am so sorry that I didn’t call you back. If we ever want a sixth Backstreet Boy member I’m gonna call you. You can sing.” He added, “[Ryan] can sing his ass off. He’s not only a great actor and a handsome man.”

Now the tables have turned and Ryan is the popular one. What do you have to say about that them apples? *Watches Ryan do crotch thrusts at McLean*

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