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Taylor Swift Broke Up With Harry Styles Because of His Foreskin

Earlier this week, there was a report that Taylor Swift broke up with Harry Styles because he kissed like a snail and no one wants to kiss a snail. Unless the snail is a banana slug which is just a snail without a shell. Anyhoo, the gist of the story was they had a lack of chemistry on account of Styles dragging his tongue across her mouth during every kiss.

Now the National Enquirer has a new report that says the real reason they broke up was because Taylor wouldn’t stop making fun of Harry’s uncircumcised penis. A source says Harry ended it because he was sick of Taylor “nagging him about clipping his [penis].” Apparently, Taylor didn’t like that Harry wasn’t circumcised so she kept pushing him to get it cut.

Harry told her it wasn’t ever going to happen. Whenever Taylor brought it up, Harry would roll his eyes and ignore her but eventually he couldn’t take it anymore.

What I want to know is how Taylor is going to work that into a song. She’ll have to use a euphemism like this dude had a pet aardvark she didn’t like and she asked him to get rid of it but he said no so obviously it was all his fault and now she’s living in a big old city and all he’s ever going to be is foreskinny.

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Mud Butt
Mud Butt
9 years ago

I thought she didn’t put out? Or she wouldn’t go down on his turtle neck? I really see her making the “face” looking at an uncut joint. Is she 1, 2 or 3 hole access? You guys know, don’t you?

Fear
Fear
9 years ago

That is a totally valid reason to break up with a guy. Foreskins are disgusting. Just cut that nasty s**t off or no one will ever f**k you. Jesus, it’s not that goddamn hard.

Aardvark
Aardvark
4 months ago
Reply to  Fear

You’re a dumb cunt.

I just dont care...
I just dont care...
9 years ago

Your obviously a girl. “Not that hard” ? Thats like cutting a females Labium off i highly doubt its not painfull…

richard
richard
9 years ago

There is a reason why babies get circumcised, and not adolescent males; the amount of pain involved is beyond excruciating. When I was 15 years old I had to have my tonsils removed. While I was out of it on the table, the doctor noticed I was never snipped as a baby. He explained to my mother what was involved, and how it would make it cleaner and better for me when I became a man. She did not know much about these things, and my dad was out of the picture very early in my life. I think I… Read more »

Clementine
Clementine
8 years ago

I never knew how dull the circumcised penis was until I married a man who is intact as God created. The foreskin is wonderful and so much more pleasurable. American girls, you’re brainwashed, I was one of you. A circumcised cock is disgusting. Also, if you prescribe to circumcision then you think that child abuse is acceptable and you should be ashamed of yourself. #i2

Clementine
Clementine
8 years ago

Okay, so when are you going to cut your labia off? Fucking idiot.

Clementine
Clementine
8 years ago

Amen brother

Your an idiot
Your an idiot
8 years ago

You are what’s wrong with the world

Your an idiot
Your an idiot
8 years ago

So we should circumcise babies because they have no way of telling us how bad it hurts. Makes plenty of sense. Oh yeah, they are pissing and shitting all over the open wound AND can’t have pain medication. Your logic is superb.

David B
David B
8 years ago

A woman has EVERY right to refuse intimacy to a man if she does not like the fact he has a foreskin. He did not want to get circumcised and for her it was a deal breaker. She did not want him to place a potentially smelly or dirty smegma laden penis in her mouth, vagina or perhaps even touch it. She knows EXACTLY what she wants and she was not shy about telling him. Too bad because now they are both looking elsewhere. if a guy wants a chance with Taylor – he had best be circumcised – and… Read more »

Dave
Dave
8 years ago
Reply to  David B

What the hell is wrong with you?

David B
David B
8 years ago
Reply to  Dave

There is NOTHING wrong with me. Understand that Women get to decide who they will be intimate with AND their preferences – with or without foreskins – have to be taken into account. There are MANY women out there who do not want a potentially dirty foreskin covered penis ANYWHERE near them – not in their vagina, not in their mouth, not in their hands and not in their anus. The very idea is repulsive to them and they prefer a circumcised partner. THERE IS NOTHING wrong with me and there is NOTHING wrong with Taylor Swift – she is… Read more »

PJ
PJ
8 years ago

If you seriously believe a normal, healthy penis is a “turtle neck”, you have issues.

PJ
PJ
8 years ago

If you seriously believe a normal, healthy penis is a “turtle neck”, you have issues.

PJ
PJ
8 years ago

You can’t be serious. Why would someone want to cut off a normal healthy protective part of the body for a girl? That’s insane.

PJ
PJ
8 years ago

Actually the real reason is money and brainwashing, which is why the USA is the ONLY country in the entire world that does it routinely for non-religious reasons.

PJ
PJ
8 years ago

Wrong. Across the world, where foreskin is normal (apart from in Muslim and Jewish countries), men with no foreskin would be refused because of their ugly smelly mushroom dicks that don’t have anything to protect them from all kinds of infections.

David Busi
David Busi
8 years ago
Reply to  PJ

well many women decide exactly the opposite from your assertions and what they say is that the cut version looks MUCH better and it is that wet area under the skin that promotes infections and bacteria transfer – they don’t want that ugly foreskin any where near them. No man circumcised will ever be refused on that basis alone but plenty of women – particularly american women will refuse intact men because it repulses them and they think foreskins are gross, dirty and disgusting. For them a total turn off.

filthykafur
filthykafur
8 years ago
Reply to  PJ

agreed…but circumcision isn’t done “To make them appealing to girls” for fucks sake.. Its done for medical reasons… and in the usa to prevent disease

David Busi
David Busi
8 years ago

Who says they can not have pain medication? You and you would be wrong. Who says they have an open wound? You and you would be wrong – the wound is neatly and effectively bandaged. There is nothing wrong wrong with a circumcised penis and a whole lot right about one. As to the one who appears to be an idiot – well those that live in glass houses….

filthykafur
filthykafur
8 years ago
Reply to  David Busi

Im circumcised…and find it fab. This doesn’t mean some others have bad times. You cant just say its good or bad..it depends on people. Ipersonally find foreskins vile….. but hey… its all cool

Jay
Jay
7 years ago
Reply to  David Busi

False! I have been witness to many circumcisions as I am in the medical field and it is very painful for the baby even with the lidocaine injection they receive and even that is painful for a baby. It’s just complete mutilation.

filthykafur
filthykafur
8 years ago

Foreskins can be dirty…which is why im glad im circumcised

Robin-Frans Winkel
Robin-Frans Winkel
7 years ago

Indeed, women decide with whom they sleep.

Robin-Frans Winkel
Robin-Frans Winkel
7 years ago

Maybe it should be required by law.

sandra
sandra
7 years ago

Foreskins are disgusting. The smell is horrible and I certainly couldn’t be in a relationship with an uncircumcised man. He probably wanted oral and she wouldn’t do it and I don’t blame her.

Robin-Frans Winkel
Robin-Frans Winkel
6 years ago
Reply to  sandra

Foreskins can do a lot of damage in a woman, as they enter the vagina. Dirty labia do little damage at the base of the penis.

dudits
dudits
6 years ago

foreskins are fuckn gross. Ya lets watch you dick disappear and reappear like its inside out.

me
me
6 years ago

totally agree. Foreskin is a part needed when the baby is in his mother’s womb (for protection) but when he’s born it must be cut off. what the hell? Do you boys really like to keep a piece of dirt with you? it’s even not healthy for you. And no reduce of pleasure! lf you don’t believe so, do a little search

Brian
Brian
5 years ago

I’m so sorry you’re story makes me want to cry. I feared something like that happening to me when I was in my teens and when I had to see a urologist at age 14 I made sure I warned him not to circumcise me. I lived in fear of having to have tonsils removed for that very reason which is why when my doctor suggested it at age 15 I put up a big resistance. I was sure they’d look in my pants too and talk my parents into a circumcision. I had to be my own protector. To… Read more »

Anonymous Person
Anonymous Person
5 years ago

You people are fucking idiots… And completely wrong. The foreskin is there for a reason, and the only reason you think mutilated penises are natural is because society has brainwashed you. I’m glad not all people are as disgusting of human beings as you are. Like honestly, is it that fucking hard to wash yourself. Everyone has to wash themselves. Girls, guys, everyone. And just letting you know, the foreskin is there to keep bacteria out and dirt out. And yes, there is reduced pleasure. The foreskin contains 8,000 – 20,000 nerve endings, and when you cut the foreskin, you… Read more »

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