Oscar Pistorius’ Story Does Not Check Out

Paraolympian Oscar Pistorius was arrested last week for allegedly shooting and killing his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. Oscar’s excuse was that he mistook her for a robber and accidentally shot her. However, police sources are saying the evidence is telling a different tale.

According to sources, Steenkamp’s skull was “crushed” and police believe a cricket bat found at the scene may have been used to do it. They’re testing her body to see if her injuries are consistent with blows to the back of the head with the bat. “There was lots of blood on the bat. Forensic tests will show whose blood it was,” said a source.

Police theorize that either Steenkamp used the bat in self-defense or Oscar used it to break down the bathroom door Steenkamp was hiding from him in.

Investigators have also concluded that Pistorius did not mistake Steenkamp for an intruder. They found no evidence of forced entry.

More details about the night have come out as well. Steenkamp was wearing her nightie at the time of the shooting and, in Oscar’s bedroom, they found her overnight bag and iPad on the floor. “It was clear that both of them had slept in the bed.” Says the source, “The suspicion is that the first shot, in the bedroom, hit her in the hip. She then ran and locked herself in the toilet. She was doubled over because of the pain. He fired three more shots. She probably covered her head, which is why the bullet also went through her hand.”

The iPad may be pivotal to the case. The Mirror says Steenkamp and Pistorius had been fighting over her ex, Francois Hougaard, a rugby player for the South African national team. Reports allege Steenkamp received a text, maybe on her iPad, from Hougaard the night she was killed.

Police have also ordered a blood test to see if he was on roids at the time of the murder. Even though roid rage isn’t a real thing. These aren’t bath salts, people.

Anyway, I was trying to go for a clever “he doesn’t have a leg to stand on” joke here but there’s about a thousand of them already. You could say I’m stumped.

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