Carrie Fisher Confirms Return as Princess Leia in ‘Star Wars VII’

A week or so ago, Carrie Fisher got drunk or went off her meds while performing…. something on a cruise ship. There was dog poop involved.

She seems to be in a better place now as she sounds more sane during an interview with Palm Beach Illustrated. Unless she’s totally lying about reprising her role as Princess Leia in the next Star Wars.

PBI asked Carrie to confirm whether she’ll return as Princess Leia to which she simply answered “yes.” Asked what the character would be like today, “Elderly. She’s in an intergalactic old folks’ home [laughs]. I just think she would be just like she was before, only slower and less inclined to be up for the big battle.”

They also wanted to know whether she’s still wearing the bagel buns. “The bagel buns and the bikini, because probably she has sundowners syndrome. At sundown, she thinks that she’s 20-something. And she puts it on and gets institutionalized.”

Don’t even joke about putting old Princess Leia in a bikini. That’ll ruin every fantasy anyone ever had about Princess Leia. It’s like explaining how a magic trick works or seeing a picture of Katy Perry without makeup. It’s the adult version of telling someone Santa Claus isn’t real.