Jessica Biel Farts Air Freshener

In a new PSA about the water crisis in which millions of families live without access to clean water, three new stars have showed their solidarity with Matt Damon’s toilet strike for his campaign.

Jessica Biel, Jason Bateman and Josh Gad have all vowed, like Damon, to not use the toilet until everyone in the world has access to clean water and sanitation.

Josh Gad hasn’t gone for days and he feels great.

Jason Bateman is a little confused about the strike. He’s not sure whether he’s not supposed to go at all or just not in the toilet. He’s been using the kitchen sink.

Jessica Biel has had the easiest time. Mostly because she has “never gone to the bathroom in my entire life.” Also, one time she thought she farted but it came out as air freshener. “It smells like music. Does that make sense?”

This could explain why everyone was sniffing her chair after she left and following her around with a jar labeled “Essence of Biel.” Looks like I’m not the only one anymore. High five!

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