Lindsay Lohan Still Drinking Before Going to a Nonexistent Rehab

Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90-days of lockdown rehab which means she’s going to have to drink a lot to preemptively make up those 90 days.

Sources say Lindsay was at the bar of her hotel in Beverly Hills drinking vodka sodas hours after her court hearing. Then last Friday, Lindsay hit up Fluxx in San Diego with a friend showing up after midnight. She disguised herself in a Yankees cap and a hooded sweatshirt and sat at a VIP table ordering vodka on the rocks all night. Lindsay is said to have requested the vodka be served from a glass carafe so no bottles could be seen at the table.

Sure, Lindsay may be self-destructive but at least she’s efficient and club savvy.

In other news, that 90-day lockdown rehab she’s supposed to serve her time in? Nothing like that exists in either NYC or California. When her lawyer Mark Heller brought the deal to prosecutors, he made it seem like this was a real thing.

However, Dr. Drew told TMZ, “There is no rehab that will hold you against your will, unless they feel the person is a suicide risk and in that case they can hold the individual for 72 hours.”

If Lindsay can’t find a facility that has a 90-day lockdown option, there’s a chance she may spend those 90 days in jail. Though that probably won’t happen. I’m not sure how the system works, but couldn’t a judge just order a rehab patient be on lockdown? Or is that against the rehab handbook. Is there a rehab handbook? Can’t we just throw her in a dungeon for 90 days and be done with it? Can that dungeon also be some sort of sex dungeon? Can we visit that dungeon?

As you can see, I have a lot of questions. Not all of which are based in reality.

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