David Beckham Finally Retiring From Soccer

At 38, David Beckham is finally throwing in the towel. This will be his last season playing the sport that made him a superstar and probably led him to marrying a Spice Girl.

In a statement, Beckham, who’s playing with Paris Saint-Germain and has two games left this season, said he’s “thankful to PSG for giving me the opportunity to continue but I feel now is the right time to finish my career, playing at the highest level.”

He went on, “If you had told me as a young boy I would have played for and won trophies with my boyhood club Manchester United, proudly captained and played for my country over one hundred times and lined up for some of the biggest clubs in the world, I would have told you it was a fantasy. I’m fortunate to have realized those dreams.”

“To this day, one of my proudest achievements is captaining my country,” Beckham said. “I knew every time I wore the Three Lions shirt, I was not only following in a long line of great players, I was also representing every fan that cared passionately about their country.

“I’m honored to represent England both on and off the pitch. … I want to thank all my teammates, the great managers that I had the pleasure of learning from. I also want to thank the fans who have all supported me and given me the strength to succeed.”

I don’t watch soccer on account of it being so boring but I’m sure this affects someone somewhere. So here’s to you, random stranger. *Salutes, kicks soccer ball, hits kid in the face, runs away*

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