Paris Hilton has only been dating River Viiperi for the past I don’t know how many months — she’s 32 and he looks 14 — but she’s ready to pop a few kids out of her.
Paris was on The Wendy Williams show where she said she definitely wants to settle down. “I think that’s every woman’s dream. I think that’s the meaning of life to have children and have a family one day.”
Granted, that might prove difficult because not only has her womb been ravaged by a parade of dongs and probably looks like a war-torn Syria incapable of sustaining human life, but Viiperi is 21. He’s about as ready for marriage as a cow is ready to be slaughtered and turned into delicious steak.
Would this biatch just go away and rot, please?