A Girl Tried to Stab Armie Hammer During Sex

Armie Hammer talked to Elle to promote The Lone Ranger and detailed his, um, interesting sex life from before he was married. Like when this one chick tried to stab him with a knife because real love leaves scars.

“One chick tried to stab me when we were having sex. I should so not be telling this story,” he says—then does so anyway. “She was like, ‘True love leaves scars. You don’t have any.’ And then she tried to stab me with a butcher knife. Of course I promptly broke up with her,” he says. “Seven months later.”

Yikes. That’s the kind of woman where when you break up with her, she stands outside your window at night crying and cutting off all her hair while screaming, “Am I pretty enough for you now?!”

Armie then tells about how he met his wife Elizabeth Chambers and convinced her to split up with her boyfriend so he could go out with her.

Hammer didn’t take advantage of the celebrity that came with the movie the way a lot of 24-year-olds might have. Instead, he married Chambers, a TV journalist and former model whom he started dating in 2008. Chambers had been seeing someone else, but the couple was unhappy, and one night when she came over with friends, Hammer made his move with a prepared speech. “I was like, ‘You have to break up with your boyfriend because we have to start dating.’ Her mouth kind of fell open. I said, ‘You were made for me,’ and she got this look on her face like”—Hammer launches into a girl’s voice—“ ‘Don’t you even.’ ” He laughs. “I was like, ‘Wait, wait! And I was made for you. We were made to be together. So we can do this 30 years from now, when I’ve gotten married a couple of times and you’ve gotten married a couple of times, or we can start now and end up 60 years from now sitting on a porch in rocking chairs, talking about how good an adventure the whole thing was.’ ”

Hold on. This cheesy romcom stuff actually works? I’m going to try one of these lines. Like, I’ll go up to a random girl at a bar, shush her by putting my finger on her lips and tell her, “You had me at hello.” I’ll be swimming in a sea of women in no time.

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