Snooki Has Parenting Advice for Channing Tatum

Now that Jenna Dewan has popped out her first baby, Snooki, also a new mother, has some advice for Channing Tatum and his wife on how to best care for their new bundle of poop and vomit. She even gives some advice for their love life.

• Do not crush the kid with your big hands.
• Don’t hold your kid like you’re offering her to the gods. She’ll spit up on you and her head is soft and squishy.
• If the baby starts to cry, she’s probably starving or needs to take a sh*t.
• Your baby will be pooping itself non-stop.
• Don’t be timid about wiping down her vagina because it’s not a real vagina yet.
• Don’t try to have sex with Jenna Dewan. Wait for her sore vag to heal.

Wise words from Snooki the Baby Whisperer. Channing would have never known not to crush that baby’s squishy skull with his big manly hands. I feel like this is something they should tell you before you get home from the hospital though and not something an Oompa Loompa has to warn you about.