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Aubrey Plaza Liked Angrily Masturbating

Aubrey Plaza is unconventionally hot. I think it has a lot to do with her serial killer eyes. The amount of crazy in those tiny balls of darkness… so hot. It’s like you don’t know if she’s about to stab you or bake you a cake and then stab you while you eat it.

Anyway, she did an interview in August’s GQ and talked about her new movie The To Do List. She also talked about interrupting Will Ferrell, ideal first dates and awkward appearances.

On interrupting Will Ferrell at the MTV Movie Awards: I guess I think it’s better to go out there and do something interesting than to just do what everybody expects. And that’s the kind of thing that gets picked up.

On her ideal first date: My ideal first date would be for someone to come and pick me up and then be like ‘You know, I don’t feel like going anywhere.’ And then I’d be like ‘Yeah, you’re right. Let’s not go anywhere.’ And then they’d be like ‘You know, I kind of just want to go home and watch a movie.’ And then I’d be like ‘Alright, I’ll see you later. This was really fun.’

On who she’d least like to date: I am the last person on earth I’d ever go on a date with.

On her favorite scene in The To Do List: I liked angrily masturbating. I say my own name, which you kind of think could be hot in a way, but it doesn’t come off that way. I’m like, ‘C’mon Brandy. You got this, Brandy.’ But I have two hands up my vagina, and I’m wearing a Hillary Clinton T-shirt.

On her own high school To Do List: I was a type-A loser, so I had a lot of ‘Figure out how to dress yourself’ or ‘Figure out how to make a better ponytail’ [on the list]

Well who doesn’t like angrily masturbating while giving themselves words of encouragement. Is there any other way to masturbate?

Clearly, Plaza loves trolling people. Like when the interviewer walked away from the table for a minute.

“Vagina,” she says into the voice recorder. “Penis. Balls.” She starts laughing to herself. “Old person’s penis. With a top hat on it. And a mustache. On the beach.”

Silence.

“Penis, vagina, penis, vagina, penis, vagina. Penis penis. Aaaand penis.”

Ah, yes. The old penis, vagina and Monopoly man penis on a beach description in the unattended voice recorder gag. Classic.

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Oh I get it, she’s cute and apathetic and says irreverent things

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