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Charlie Hunnam Chases Off Perps With Machetes Now

Charlie Hunnam is so terrified of burglars that he’s taken to collecting third world weaponry to arm himself with. Hunnam says he began arming his California home with swords, machetes and hatchets after experiencing two attempted break-ins.

“I had one of those very cheap garage doors, you know like the one-piece tin things and it was 11 o’clock in the morning on a Tuesday and the guy just ripped it up… and was just, casual as you like, walking through my backyard looking for ways into my house and figuring out how he was gonna rob me.

“At this point I only had one weapon in my house and it was a baseball bat next to my bed and so I thought, ‘Let’s get the bat, see what’s gonna happen…’ and so I grabbed the bat and I came out… just as he was rounding the side of the house and he stopped and I looked at him and I said, ‘So, we got business motherf**ker?’

“It was so annoying. It turned out we didn’t have business, but he was not intimidated at all. He just turned around and, casual as you like, strolled out. I said, ‘Run!’

Wow. That sounds kind of badass. If I tried to do that, it’d be more like, “Excuse me. Can I help you with something? My alarm code? Oh, sure, it’s 9837.”

“Then I made it my business to arm myself… I just accumulated (things). I’d be somewhere, at a swap meet or something, and I’d think, ‘That will be good’… I got a hatchet, I have a Samurai sword, but I also have a machete, but it’s kind of old and rusty…”

He probably prefers his weapons to be old and rusty because if you’re going to make him slice you open with a machete, you sure as hell better get tetanus as well. But he hasn’t ever had to do that yet.

“It was three o’clock in the morning and I was learning my lines… I had the machete and I stepped out and there was this big guy there (in my yard) and I was just thinking, ‘God, I wish I had a bat,’ because… it’s not a friendly maneuver, hitting someone (with a machete). I was thinking that if I turned it sideways I could kind of spank him with it… Thankfully, he saw the machete and he said, ‘OK, I’m gonna get out of here’.”

This dude is still worried about not hurting a guy trying to break into his house. He’s good people. He’s pretty much unafraid of going toe to toe with a perp as long as he isn’t wet and naked.

“My biggest fear is to be broken into when you’re in the shower because then you’re wet, you’re naked. It’s not a formidable look.”

There you go. If you plan on robbing Charlie Hunnam, do it while he’s in the shower. It’ll be less hard that way. If you catch my drift. Wink wink.

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