Lindsay Lohan Has Turned a New Leaf

I didn’t catch Lindsay Lohan’s interview with Oprah last night because I finally got back from traveling and I didn’t have the energy to roll my eyes, but luckily TooFab has a nice rundown of the important takeaways.

Lindsay admits to doing coke
Surprise, surprise. Lindsay admitted that she lied when she said she’d only done coke 3-4 times. She really hasn’t done it more than 10-15 times. She said 3-4 because she was “terrified of being judged.” Wow, guess how well that worked out?

She went on, “I never felt good the next day. It’s a party thing, people would have it and I’d do it. It went hand in hand with drinking.” Cocaine is a party drug? You learn something new every day.

Lindsay has also given up Adderal noting that it’s “a big deal.” She explains, “I was convinced that it did ground me, but I notice how calm I am now [without it].”

The only drug she’s high on now is life. Life and Nexium, for acid reflux.

Lindsay took this rehab seriously
Lindsay took us through her whole rehab history starting with her first experience in Wonderland back in 2007. She checked in willingly because she had been using ambien for a month and didn’t know the side effects.

Her second stint was at Promises after her first DUI in 2007. She then went to Cirque Lodge later that year after her second DUI. “I didn’t take Promises seriously. I just turned 21, I wanted to have fun. I did the same thing again, it’s like the definition of sanity.”

Lindsay says Cliffside (this time) was different because, “The other times it tended to be a punishment. I don’t think in the past I fully surrendered to the fact that I need to shut up and listen. In this case, I wasn’t fighting at all.”

Hahahahaha. Wait. Hold on. Hahahaha.

It’s not the fault of her parents
Dina and Michael Lohan are screw-ups and their obsession with fame probably contributed to Lindsay being who she is but Lindsay doesn’t think they exploited her.

“Nobody’s perfect. I love my parents,” she says … adding, “I’m not going to say that certain situations I would have preferred to be handled differently, to be kept within the family and private.”

“I don’t blame anyone for my mistakes,” she says. “I don’t blame anyone for driving in a car while drinking. I did that and I’m not proud of it.”

Lindsay squandered all the money she made as a teen
Lindsay had made $7 million for Just My Luck but she wasted it all because Lindsay Lohan.

“I was living in a hotel and I had an apartment. I wasn’t really being guided,” she says — adding that she’d fly friends out to visit her and didn’t listen to her family when they wanted her to move back to New York.

“I didn’t pay close enough attention to what was going on,” says Lindsay. “People around for the wrong reasons.”

Lindsay knows she’s been lucky
Once again, she goes through the same old song and dance and says she’s a changed person.

“Thank God, I have some serious guardian angels because I would never had been able to forgive myself if I hurt someone else,” she says of her past mistakes.

“As long as I stay honest with myself and just do the work that I’m willing to do and have been doing, then there’s nothing that can stand in my way. I’m my own worst enemy and I know that.”

Oh, whatever. Lindsay isn’t going to change unless people stop enabling her. It’s like a kid pretending to be sorry and instead of being spanked (jail) they’re just sent to their room to think about what they’ve done (rehab).

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